Culture Clash, or Just Misunderstanding?

Working with foreigners as a Thai person has taught me more than just language differences. It’s shown me how culture shapes communication, expectations, and even confidence. Even though this is just my story, I believe what I’ve learned might resonate with others. Whether you’re Thai, foreign, or somewhere in between.

I’m not here to say one culture is better than another. What I’ve come to realise is that “different” doesn’t mean “wrong.” It just means we haven’t understood each other yet. If we can communicate more openly and be willing to listen, we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.

Understanding “Kreng Jai”

You’ve probably heard people say, “Thai people are easy-going” or “Thai people can’t say no.” There’s some truth to that but not always in the way it sounds. In Thai culture, keeping the peace often matters just as much as getting the job done. That’s where “kreng jai” comes in. It’s a word that’s nearly impossible to translate. It’s a mix of politeness, consideration, and emotional awareness.

To many foreigners, this feels odd. Why hold back instead of just being honest? Why give up what you want just to avoid tension? But for us, it’s second nature. It’s what keeps relationships smooth.

Foreign bosses I’ve worked with, including the one I still work with now, tend to focus on results. For them, good feelings come after the work is done well. I don’t disagree with that. But it’s a different way of getting there.

Asking Questions Isn’t Wrong

One thing that really shifted my thinking was how much foreigners value clarity. I used to be afraid to ask questions at work. In Thai settings, asking can feel like putting yourself on trial. From school to office life, we’re often taught to keep quiet unless we’re absolutely sure. Otherwise, we risk looking incompetent or even being ridiculed. (Not always, of course – but often enough.)

But one day, I decided to ask anyway. My boss replied, “That’s a Good question! Thank you for asking.”

That moment stuck with me. For many foreigners, asking a question isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you care. That you’re trying to do your job right. And that’s a good thing.

The Power of Clarity

There was one boss I worked with who had a really short fuse. He got angry quickly and expected perfection. At first, I took it personally. But over time, I realised his frustration wasn’t about me. It was about the pressure of the moment. Too many orders, too little time.

What made him a good boss wasn’t that he never got mad, but that he always came back afterward, calmer, and explained things clearly. He never made it personal. That taught me a valuable lesson: good leaders separate stress from blame. They guide without making others feel small.

When Thai employees stay quiet, it doesn’t mean we’re ignoring the problem. When we nod, it doesn’t always mean we agree. The more I speak up, the more both sides understand, and the smoother everything runs.

Language Beyond Translation

Language is another layer. It’s not just words, it’s meaning, context, rhythm. A phrase like “เดี๋ยวทำให้” feels friendly in Thai. But when translated to “I’ll do it later,” it sounds careless to someone unfamiliar with our tone.

I’ve studied English since I was young, but classrooms never taught me why people say what they say. Why someone might say “Roger that” instead of just “OK.” Who’s Roger anyway? That confusion showed me something: learning a language is also learning a worldview.

What Foreign Bosses Taught Me

At first, I assumed foreign bosses would be cold, strict, and formal. But many of them have surprised me. They’ve been supportive, open to feedback, and even eager to listen. Most importantly, they’ve encouraged me to speak.

They’ve taught me to trust my own voice. To raise questions. To offer suggestions. To believe that ideas don’t have to come from the top down. Just from someone who cares.

That mindset has changed the way I work. I try more. I say more. I’ve learned that confidence can grow, even when you start out unsure.

Final Reflection

If you’re Thai and about to work with a foreign boss, or if you’re foreign and wondering why your Thai colleague seems quiet. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Ask questions. Ask again if you’re unsure.
• Explain things clearly and patiently.
• Speak with honesty, but also kindness.
• Don’t fear misunderstanding, just be willing to work through it.

It hasn’t always been easy. At times, it was exhausting, even confusing. But I’ve found that if we talk more and assume less, we’re not as far apart as we think.

And maybe, the next time you work with someone from another culture, you’ll see them not as “different,” but as someone worth understanding. If you’re willing to give it time.